Beep, Beep, Beep, Fade To Black

by Jeff on January 18, 2010 · 4 comments

in Stuff I Like

I have never watched 24. I don’t know why I haven’t. I think that I only had ‘room’ for one spy drama and my heart belonged to Alias. After Sidney Bristow and crew went off the air after five seasons, I could have tried to switch – lord knows everybody I know thinks 24 is great – but there was a Tivo conflict that meant I couldn’t record it. And this is before the current era of my media habits where I just watch everything online.

Because C’s joie de vivre at the show’s impending return was infectious, I declared that I would watch it. And the first night of the two-night, four-hour premiere event was…well, really good.

Now, just because I’ve never watched an episode before, that doesn’t mean I’m unfamiliar with the show. Being the citizen of the Internet that I am, I had that scene where Jack Bauer tears that dude’s throat out with his teeth sent to me as must-view material at least a hundredy-jillion times and I knew enough about the character to know that, at the end of Mirrors when Keifer Sutherland’s character holds a nun at gunpoint and growls “Don’t make me threaten you!” at her, that he’s basically channeling Jack Bauer. I also know about Chloe, because I have at least one friend with a serious nerdcrush on her.

Some things I didn’t know about 24 prior to last night’s viewing, though:

  • Everybody is a jerkface except for Jack.
  • Everybody is wrong except for Jack.
  • That the Islamic Republic of Kamistan has nuclear capabilities.
  • That the people of Kamistan would elect a game show host as their President.
  • Nobody takes a second to acknowledge that Jack, who all of the jerkfaces think is wrong, has done this very thing seven times before and has not been wrong yet.
  • Freddie Prinze Jr. should not try to rock a New York accent. He is bad at it. But hey – it’s nice to see Freddie Prinze Jr. again! I thought he got killed by the Hulk.*
  • All of these jerkfaces are completely untrustworthy except for Jack and “The Chlo.” Even Jack’s granddaughter. She’s working for the polar bears!
  • Jack’s strategy for conflict resolution is to play the “I’m going to call the President,” card, which I imagine is good for the occasional bar bet, but is already starting to get old. It’s like he’s trying to manufacture reasons to call her. Like he’s totally into her but nervous that she’ll shoot him down because – hello – leader of the free world. That’s it – I’m shipping Jack/President Taylor.
  • The CTU Director doesn’t really care about countering terrorists with his unit, which is like, why don’t you just call it Director Hastings’s Fun Club at that point?

I think I might be slightly hooked on the show and will definitely stick around for the next few episodes. I heard that David Anders, whose Julian Sark was one of my favorite things about Alias is one of the antagonists this season, and that just may guarantee that I’d keep watching anyway.

What did you think about the 24 premiere?

*There was this one time in an alternate-universe Avengers comic that Betty Ross (daughter of Thunderbolt Ross, on-again, off-again thing with Bruce Banner, sometimes a supervillainess called The Harpy, played by Liv Tyler in that one movie) went on a date with Freddie Prinze Jr. and, jealous, the Hulk tried to kill him and ended up wrecking half of Manhattan in the process.

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Dan January 18, 2010 at 3:06 pm

If that “one friend” isn’t me, then you have at least two friends who do.

As someone who watched ALIAS long before 24, I have a feeling you’ll enjoy it. Both are ridiculous, although 24 is far more earnest in its ridiculousness.

If you find this season palatable, I suggest you go back and watch season 5, which includes the following guest stars: Jean Smart, Mark Sheppard, Geraint Wyn Davies, Julian Sands, Paul McCrane, Ray Wise, Sean Astin, Connie Britton, and Peter Weller as the Beaver.

FilmBuffRich January 18, 2010 at 3:08 pm

I tried to watch it once, but found it a little too Right Wing masterbatory for me. Given that the show’s creators also went on to create FOX News’ failed attempt at a comedy show has further ailenated me from ever wanting to try and watch 24 again.

C January 19, 2010 at 1:02 pm

Wait till someone important dies and they do a silent countdown. It’s going to Blow Your Effin’ Mind.

Jeff January 19, 2010 at 1:30 pm

Wait, a silent countdown? Oh, man.

Rich: Jack Bauer transcends party affiliation.

Dan: Okay, two friends. And I will probably netflix the whole thing or borrow the DVDs from one of the other commenters here.

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