I saw the trailer for Me and Orson Welles last night. While the idea of an Orson Welles story in which Welles is the antagonist instead of a grouchy, misunderstood genius is something that’s appealing to me, the Zac Efron-ness of the trailer makes me a little trepidatious (the question is whether or not it should do so – Efron was solid in the Hairspray remake, if not necessarily the standout that, say, James Marsden was) about seeing it, even if Claire Danes is in it and even if Christian McKay’s entire career has been predicated on him doing a really great Orson Welles impression.
But the title doesn’t really seem to match the plot or the tone that the trailer evokes. Here are five pitches for the title that are totally divorced from the movie’s actual plot.
1. Me and Orson Welles – In the far future, a child astronaut orbits Saturn, surveying the planet and its moons for signs of extra-terrestrial intelligence. His only contact with the outside world is an artificial intelligence program that is based on Orson Welles’ personality. But when they make contact and an alien sentience takes over the computer, can one little boy survive to save the galaxy?
2. Me and Orson Welles – Clayton Steele is a cop who doesn’t play by anyone else’s rules – only justice’s. But when the lone wolf gets a new partner, legendary auteur Orson Welles, he has to learn teamwork before the Triads flood San Diego with billions of dollars in illegal small arms. This summer, Clayton Steele knows that the only two people who can stop them are…Me and Orson Welles.
3. Me and Orson Welles – In treatment for multiple personality disorder, Orson Welles lives out his golden years in a posh sanitarium where he brings joy, laughter, and…love into the hearts of the staff and his fellow patients.
4. Me and Orson Welles – Maggie is a high-powered attorney for a large New York firm, but something is missing in her life. When she falls down a magical elevator shaft and finds herself in the 1930s, she soon finds herself swept off her feet by a moody, difficult perfectionist.
5. Me and Orson Welles – A zany biopic chronicling the life of Orson Welles’ conjoined twin.
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
That’s not love he’s bringing…
Snarky grammar chick say that the proper title of this film is “Orson Wells and Me,” goddammit.
This is brilliant!