Christmas

Sir I Wanna Buy These Shoes

22 December 2011

There’s something heartwarming about a song that seems to advocate that the best way to spend the all-too-brief time before a loved one’s death is shopping at the mall. For stuff you can’t afford, stuff that is at best a distraction from the dismal circumstances of life. It, and by it I mean New Song’s [...]

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Twas the Night Before Christmas

25 December 2010

The Christmas special I hate the most is the one where the little shepherd gets struck by lightning and blinded. But I’ve never seen it all the way through, so it’s only fair that I gripe about something I’ve seen in its entirety. And the second worst Christmas special is ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas. [...]

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31 Days of Terror – Snakes On A Train

16 March 2010

Journey back in time to 2007 with this long and rambling post about a terrible, cheaply-made Snakes On A Plane cash-in. God bless The Asylum. When it comes to low-budget horror movies that are intentionally similar – at least in title and concept – to tentpole theatrical releases, they’re basically the best there is, which [...]

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Humbug

15 December 2009

The radio in our office has been playing Christmas music for a few days straight now and it’s driving me crazy. “But Jeff,” you’re thinking, “you love Christmas.  You’re all about Christmas specials and ugly sweaters and Christmas music – especially Christmas music!” It’s true; I do love Christmas music.  But there are a few [...]

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Pop Autopsy, Holiday Edition: Christmas Shoes

8 December 2009

At the end of time, the members of New Song will have to fight a rabid Bob Carlisle in a pool of childrens’ tears. As they are locked in vicious battle, “Christmas Shoes” and “Butterfly Kisses” will drone, klaxon-like, from half-functional loudspeakers, punctuated by short bursts of the Reggaeton air horn.  Actually…note to self…work on [...]

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