Existential Angst

Amendments

14 June 2010

In a prior posting, I took credit for several concepts for a theoretical paranormal romance novel. It involved a sullen girl caught in a love triangle with a mummy and a ghost. Literary agents, you may read it here. It has come to my attention that I have not fully credited my partner, co-writer and [...]

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Author’s Notes From My Follow-Up to the Imaginary Space Werewolf Romance Classic

11 June 2010

[NOTE: Make up an improbable-sounding name; "Acapella" sounds too much like 'Bella'] doesn’t fit in at her new school because she’s simply too perfect. Nobody else understands her deep and unabiding angst over this except for Edwin Culpeper. Edwin is a 4,000 year old mummy. Who exhibits none of the traditional traits of mummydom, save [...]

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Five Implausible Plots For Final Fantasy XIII

29 March 2010

1. Ridiculously attired sociopaths run in a straight line and kill soldiers for 40 hours. These are the good guys. 2. A man who looks like Lionel Richie dressed as John Lennon – who has a tiny yellow bird living inside his afro – shoots a bunch of people and whines about his bad parenting [...]

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Winter Storm Warning

24 February 2010

HOLY SHIT BUY BREAD AND MILK! IN THE FROZEN WASTELANDS OF THE APOCALYPSE TO COME, THE ICE WANDERERS WHO TRAVERSE THE APPALACHIAN DRIFT WILL KILL FOR MILK AND BREAD, RISKING FROSTBITE AND DEATH ITSELF TO NOURISH THEIR COLD-BLASTED BODIES WITH STALE CRUSTS AND THICK, VITAMIN-D-ENRICHED LIFE NECTAR.  MILK AND BREAD! GO NOW OR THEY’LL BE [...]

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An Open Letter To Carolyn

16 February 2010

Dear Carolyn, My name is Jeff. I don’t think you know me. Certainly, I have no idea how you got my phone number. You might have misdialed, Carolyn. Someone might have even given you the number in error.  Whatever the genesis of the misunderstanding that occurred between us last night, Carolyn, I want you to [...]

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Five Awesome Things About The Super Bowl

8 February 2010

Go Saints, and all, but the really awesome things about last night’s game have nothing to do with football.  As anybody off the street knows, the real story of the Super Bowl is the ads, some of the most expensive spots on TV each year and the result of millions and millions of dollars in [...]

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Book Store Ruminations – Salinger

5 February 2010

So J.D. Salinger passed away. I certainly am not pretentious enough to call Salinger an influence, but I believe that reading Salinger was influential on me as a writer. While I don’t think that anything he’s published is ‘bad’, my favorite of the stuff out there is 9 Stories, followed by the Glass stories, and [...]

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LOST

3 February 2010

So LOST is back, and I’m pretty excited for the final season.  My pal Aaron is even more excited than I am, which is why we had this conversation about the show earlier today, which is based on my seeing about 30 minutes of the season premiere.  Light spoilers for those 30 minutes follow. Jeff: [...]

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