Movies

A Special Hell Reserved for People Who Talk in the Theater

19 December 2011

It’s basically only acceptable to talk during a movie in three cases – first, when the movie is so awful that it’s subjectively awful and no living thing can find any enjoyment in its viewing; second, when it’s a horror movie, because the sort of fun, pop horror that you want to see in a [...]

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Activity

8 November 2011

The haunted house story is a timeless story that is rooted firmly in the economics of its time. One of the persistent lessons of horror is that we are not the masters of our collective domain that we think we are. There are monsters and sharks and mutants that will kill us for our arrogance. [...]

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Things About The Thing (2011)

17 October 2011

1. Every couple of years, a horror creator just flat-out impresses me. The wheel turns, you know, so they always disappoint me eventually, but right now, I am really a fan of Eric Heisserer. He Gets It. He understands the genre, not just in a ‘and then this happens, and then this happens way’, but [...]

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More Finaler Than Ever

16 August 2011

There are maybe only four modern films that I have ever really enjoyed watching in 3D. Three of them have been horror films – My Bloody Valentine, Piranha 3D and now Final Destination 5. The opening credits alone speak to why that is – a cavalcade of sharp objects, fire and broken glass flying right [...]

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Shields and the Weilding Thereof

26 July 2011

It is incredibly easy to get cynical about fandom. We can, collectively, be utterly joyless bastards about the things we profess to love a lot of the time. There are a lot of things we feel, some rightly and some wrongly, about Our Things – stewardship, ownership, affection, disappointment, even equivalency – but the feeling [...]

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It All Ends

15 July 2011

It’s problematic. I look at a lot of the things I love in fiction – fantasy, science fiction, superheroes – and I see that that same basic story structure that props each hero’s journey up ultimately tends to be a little fascistic.  Because when Boy X gets Sword Y and learns how to fight from [...]

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Revenge of Revenge of the Fallen Shot in 3D

5 July 2011

There is a moment that comes, maybe 2/3 of the way through Transformers: Dark of the Moon, when the audience can really and truly see the ethos of not just DotM, but the entire Michael Bay-helmed Transformers saga, with riveting clarity.  As a giant robot knocks over a skyscraper, a special forces soldier tumbles out [...]

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A Human Vampire….

16 May 2011

Succinctly, Priest is a movie about priests who are nothing like priests fighting vampires who are nothing like vampires. Instead, priests are stoic kung-fu warrior monks. We are told they have special powers, but unless ‘stoic kung-fu’ is a power, you never actually see them in use. Likewise, the vampires are eyeless xenomorph knock-offs who [...]

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A Quarter Mile at a Time

12 May 2011

According to the LA Times, Vin Diesel believes that Fast Five should be an Oscar contender. It goes without saying that Vin Diesel, if he actually, really, deep in his heart believes this, is in full-on ‘listen to tales of my drow witch-hunter from The Forgotten Realms’ mode or has maybe done about a bathtub [...]

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Zombie Thanksgiving

26 November 2010

After a brief hiatus, I’m back at Bloody Good Horror with a review of the Chris Pine vs. Zombies flick Carriers.

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